


Lost and Found

by Noelleian



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oblivious!Duo, Pining, Pining!Quat, Preventers, Romance, Yaoi, sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 03:17:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6639088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noelleian/pseuds/Noelleian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Duo keeps finding paper hearts in the Preventers lost and found bin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Damn, how does this thing keep filling up?" Duo muttered. "You'd think Preventers would have better heads on their shoulders and not keep losing shit all the ti -" He paused to bend down, his arm reaching in, fingers grasping a folded piece of paper. He pulled it out and unfolded it. It was a heart made out of red construction paper. 

"Never know what'cha gonna find in the lost and _fooound_ ," he said in a sing-song voice and dropped the heart into the waste basket, thinking nothing of it. He yanked Wufei's ponytail on his way out of the break room, earning him a growl.

"Maxwell, touch my hair again and you'll wake up braidless."

Duo snickered and ruffled Quatre's blond locks as he passed by him on his way to his own cubicle. "How's it hangin' on this fine mornin', Kitty."

Quatre pulled himself away from his work long enough to swat at Duo's hand irritably. "I hate it when you call me that," he muttered.

"You love it. Don't even lie."

He plopped down into his chair, spinning on the swiveling pedestal. "Can't believe we're stuck in the office on such a beautiful day. Soon as we get out of here, I'm hopping on my board and riding some waves. You down, Quat?"

The clicking sound of typing in the cubicle next to him paused and blue eyes peeped at him over the partition. "Duo, you know I don't know how to surf. I don't even have a board."

"I can teach you."

The crystalline eyes clouded over with a shade of uneasiness, then disappeared as Quatre lowered his head back to his work. "I think I'll pass."

"What, don't you trust me? I'm a good surfer."

The eyes reappeared and Quatre stared at him silently for a moment, brows raised in a modicum of concern. "Promise you won't let me drown?"

Duo held up three fingers. "Scout's honor. I'd never let my friends drown. I even know mouth to mouth." He winked an indigo eye and Quatre blushed to the tips of his ears.

"I know I'm probably going to regret this, but what the hell. I'm in."

"Hey, have a little faith in your pard'ner."

"The last time I had faith in you, I was parading around in a dance club wearing leather pants."

Duo leaned his head back and sighed wistfully. "Ah, yes. That was a good time."

Quatre snorted and shook his head. Good time indeed. He'd taken Duo's advise that he needed to get out more. Live a little. Have some fun, blah blah blah. The answer was apparently to go dancing in a rowdy gay club in Castro. He'd allowed himself to be dressed, in aforementioned leather pants. Duo had several pairs for some inexplicable reason, though Quatre had to admit his friend looked damn sexy when he wore them. _He_ , however, felt ridiculous in them. They looked like a set of 'fuck me' twins which Duo insisted was the point. 

The dancing had been fun until he found himself harassed by a burly guy who smelled like he hadn't seen a shower in weeks and had a serious case of not being able to take 'no' for an answer. He also couldn't keep his hands, or other parts of his anatomy, to himself. Quatre had asked him nicely, then firmly. Eventually, he'd had to warn and then threaten the brute who kept grinding his dick into Quatre's ass. When Quatre finally got fed up, he decided to just leave the dance floor, pissed that he couldn't have a good time without being dry humped. When the neanderthal grabbed his arm in an attempt to pull him back, Quatre twisted his wrist until it snapped and stomped away as the guy howled in pain. 

He found Duo bumping uglies with a cute twink on the other side of the dance floor and shouted in his ear. "I want to go. Now."

"Aw, Quat. Already?"

"I just broke some guy's wrist. We can either go _now_ , or you can bail me out of jail."

"Shit. Okay." He grasped his dance partner's chin and licked a stripe across unnaturally glossy lips. "Sorry, baby. I gotta run."

The kid pouted and shot Quatre a dirty look, but quickly looked away when Quatre's eyes gleamed with the promise of pain and sidled away to find another piece of meat to grind against.

Duo hooked an arm around him as they walked out into the chilly night, grumbling, "Honestly, Quat. I can't take you anywhere."

"The guy wouldn't listen to me! I tried to walk away and he grabbed me. What was I supposed to do?"

"Okay, I'll give you that one. Still, it wouldn't kill you to get into it a little, y'know? Let a guy slobber all over you for once."

Quatre barked out a laugh. "Maybe I don't want to be slobbered on."

"You're going to be slobbered on whether you like it, or not. Have you looked in the mirror? You're a dick magnet."

"Gee, thanks. That's very reassuring."

"Jus' sayin'. One of these days it could be worth your while."

Quatre didn't say anything, but he sincerely doubted it. He most definitely did not want to be slobbered on by some random creep. The one he really wanted was walking along beside him and said object of his affection didn't even realize it. Of course, Duo would never be interested. He'd never really expressed anything more than platonic feelings towards him. Quatre supposed he should be happy to be considered his best friend, though he worried that he bored the lively man who was full of adventure and intrigue. Duo's idea of a good time was going out and painting the town red. Quatre's was a quiet, romantic evening at home. No, it would never work.

Still, if he didn't get off his ass and at least try to find _someone_ , he knew he would end up being a lonely, bitter old spinster. He had tried a few times, but the dates he'd gone on were less than satisfactory. The endeavor of looking for a mate was proving much more difficult than he thought. He just couldn't shake his feelings for Duo no matter how hard he tried. Perhaps the Winner curse extended beyond issues of fertility. Maybe they just weren't destined to have long term lovers. Considering his mother died giving birth to him, leaving his father a widower, and only two of his twenty nine older sisters were married, he figured it was a fair assumption. It still didn't make the lonely nights any less lonely.

Too far gone in his own daydreams, he didn't notice Une behind him until she barked, "Reports!" at his back. Quatre jumped three feet off the chair and blew out an annoyed breath. He hated when she did that. In the cubicle next to him, Duo cursed loudly.

"Oh, _shit!_ "

He smirked and picked up the pile of documents off his desk, passing them to his forgetful partner over the partition. Duo shot him an eternally grateful look and grabbed them, spinning in his chair to hand Une his paperwork with a charming grin. "Here you go."

Une eyed him beneath brows lowered in disapproval, lips pursed. "Are you ever planning on writing your own reports, or just having Winner do them for you?"

Duo scratched his head awkwardly, a fetching blush emerged across his cheeks and nose. "Eh-heh. I will get them done myself from now on?"

"Is that a question, or an answer?"

"Errr...an answer?"

"Maxwell."

"Okay, okay. I will definitely do my own reports from now on. Happy?"

"Ecstatic." She took the proffered stack of paperwork and turned to Quatre who dutifully handed over his own reports. "You're going out into the field today. There's an illegal weapons smuggling operation just outside of town. I expect you both to be ready to report to your location in no less than forty five minutes." She turned to leave, then paused, glancing over her shoulder. "And Maxwell."

"Hm?"

"Write your own damn reports."

"Yes, Sir. I'm on it." Duo turned and pretended to type into his computer. "Working on it now, Sir."

"You don't have anything to write yet," she barked.

"Heh. Oh yeah."

She walked away, shaking her head. Quatre turned as Duo propped his chin on top of the partition. "You're a life-saver, Quat. What would I do without you?"

Quatre snorted, "Probably get fired."

 

***

 

The stakeout went about as well as Duo had hoped. The criminals blew their own cover and came out shooting. For weapons' smugglers, they were shit shots. Duo and Quatre engaged in a brief exchange of gunfire before bringing them down relatively easily.

Duo hopped up onto to one of the large wooden crates as they waited for their backup to arrive to rope off the scene and confiscate the shipments which not only included caseloads of automatic weapons and ammunition, but also a few dozen kilos of cocaine buried in coffee grounds to thwart the K9 units.

Quatre shot him a wry look. "You know you're sitting on the evidence."

Duo raised a brow. "And?"

"Never mind."

Quatre donned his mask and gloves and extended his pocket knife, carefully cutting open a package to test it. He passed it over to the Preventers Drug Unit. "Definitely coke. It's pure, too." He glanced up as Duo squatted and cracked open another case, digging through the contents. 

"Looks like heroin," said Duo. He passed a packet over for testing and looked at Quatre, his hands dangling over his knees. "Looks like we found that Columbia shipment that Chang and Po lost track of last month."

Quatre nodded. "Une will be happy."

"She damn well better be," Duo muttered. That woman was exasperatingly difficult to please. "You think if I present this to her on a golden platter, she'll finally start to like me?"

Quatre chuckled. "She already likes you. You just drive her crazy. You know she lets you get away with murder." She really did, too. Duo got away with things the rest of her Preventers would have been given their walking papers for. 

"She would let you get away with it, too, y'know. She adores you."

"She adores me because I follow the rules."

"Rules schmules."

When they returned back to headquarters, Duo dutifully typed up his own report, which Quatre was thankful for, though he honestly didn't really mind. Duo was not the clerical type. Though, neither was he, but several years pushing papers as the head of his father's company conditioned him for it. It wasn't something he enjoyed, but it was something he was used to. Quatre glanced at his partner as he worked in his cubicle and he felt a rush of warm affection for his friend. He watched the tip of Duo's pink tongue peek out between his lips as he typed, leaning forward to peer into his screen with squinting eyes.

"Do you need glasses?"

Duo shot him an offended look. "Hell no! What would make you ask that?"

"Because you're squinting at your screen like you're severely near-sighted?"

"Bah." Duo waved his hand in dismissal. "That's just habit."

"If you say so. You'd look cute in glasses, though."

"Are you hitting on me, Q-Bean?"

"No!" He blushed. "I'm just saying."

"Well, I'll agree with you because I look cute in everything, but I'm not going to test your theory."

"God, you're so full of yourself."

Duo hit the enter key with a flourish of finality. "Done."

"I know how hard that was for you."

"Oh, shush. You wanna grab a coffee?"

"Sure."

It took Quatre to confirm that Duo had indeed typed up his own report, not believing the emphatically defensive Duo, and even then, she watched the blond closely, tapping her pen on her desk as she tried to determine whether or not he was fibbing. She finally nodded, satisfied.

"Fine. Get the hell out of my office. Both of you."

"Thanks for believing me, boss," Duo grumbled as they waited for the elevator.

"Do you blame her? You don't exactly have a great track record for that." 

"Whatever."

They went down into the cafeteria for the coffee which, in Duo's case consisted of an eight dollar sugary latte with whole milk, whipped cream, caramel sauce, and chocolate shavings sprinkled over the top. Quatre's eyes boggled as he clutched his own, black with no cream, or sugar. "I don't know how you consider that a coffee. it's more like a calorie-laden dessert."

"It's got coffee in it, don't it? So, it's coffee." He shrugged and took a sip and Quatre laughed as a whipped cream mustache appeared on his upper lip. He also felt a rush of longing. He wanted to lean up and lick it off and he pressed his legs together as a surge of arousal spiked in his groin. Duo did it for him, his tongue swiping up to clean the cream off and Quatre could almost imagine kissing him, tasting the sugary cream mixed with the flavors of coffee and Duo. Duo shot him a strange look. "You okay?"

He shook himself, jolting out of his fantasy, blushing and feeling utterly stupid. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He looked away and sipped his own drink, trying to take his mind off of painful personal desires that would never come to fruition. 

Duo, ever observant, tsked at him across the table. "No, you're not. Something's on your mind. So, what is it?"

 _You_. "Nothing."

"You're not worried about the surfing thing, are you?"

Quatre had briefly forgotten about that, which was stupid since he was going to be treated to the honor of seeing Duo in a speedo in just over an hour. "No, not really. I trust you. I've just never done it before. My people don't come from areas with large bodies of water."

"Quat, you've been living in San Fran for six years. I'd think you'd be used to it by now."

"And yet, here I am."

"Listen up, Desert Boy. I'm going to make it my mission to teach you to surf. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be hangin' ten right alongside me." He curled his three inner fingers in, leaving his thumb and pinky sticking out and shook his hand in Quatre's face. He couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, I'll do my best to make you proud then."

"Aw, you'll do fine. You got the best teacher around."

"I'm pretty sure that's a contentious claim," Quatre chuckled.

Duo shrugged. "So let them contend. I'll fight anyone who says they can surf better than me." His brows lowered in a mockery of anger and he puffed out his chest, glancing around the cafeteria like he was expecting someone to denounce his prowess of the sea.

Quatre propped his chin on his hand and fell in love with him all over again.

 

***

 

Quatre tried, he really did, but he had trouble getting the hang of it. He wiped out time and again as Duo hollered at him about his pathetic form and posture. He yelped as he was swept under wave after wave and finally waded to shore after two hours, tired and coughing up salt water.

He plopped down into the sand, leaning back on his hands, and watched his friend ride the waves like he was born for it. Duo's long braid slapped against his back as he dipped and weaved between the swells, his wet bangs plastered against his forehead. He was deeply tanned from spending hours in the sun. His body had developed a beautiful musculature from years of training and they flexed sensually beneath that smooth, golden skin as he worked to maintain his balance.

He was aggressive on the water, almost predatory, a wicked gleam in his eyes that was heady and made Quatre weak in the knees. It reminded him of Duo's Shinigami days, darkly bellicose, ferocious. He idly wondered what it would feel like to be on the receiving end of that rapacious side of him. He yearned for it in ways that made him drunk with desire. He could feel the body-blush that bloomed over his pale skin, relieved that he could blame the hot sun for his pinkness.

He felt invigorated, not only from the coolness of the sea and the fresh salty air, but by watching the object of his affection in all his glory. There was just no way Quatre could settle for someone else. He leaned forward, resting his arms across his knees and stared at the godliness who owned the waves, grander than Neptune himself. He had to let Duo know how he felt. He would have to turn things up a notch.

Duo eventually came back to shore and Quatre's heart skipped a beat as the setting sun created a breathtaking backdrop, reflecting off the sea like liquid gold and encasing Duo in silhouette. He looked away with some effort, trying to act casual as Duo walked up to him and jammed his board into the sand. Unable to control the impulse, he glanced back and sucked in a breath at the way the water dripped down that tanned skin, the rivulets weaving in between the stark relief of muscles, sparkling in the fading sunlight, and he felt woefully inferior. He stared down at his own skinny, pale limbs, feeling like a mere mortal in the presence of divinity. 

"Ah, damn. Now, that's what I'm talking about." Duo ran his fingers through his bangs and looked down at Quatre. "And you didn't drown."

Quatre snickered, despite his feelings of inadequacy. "No, I guess I didn't. I'm not a bad swimmer, you know."

"Oh, I know you can swim. You're really good at it. You've got that slender swimmer's bod."

He blushed at the prospect that Duo noticed his body, feeling delightfully flattered and forced out a laugh to cover his awkwardness. "Glad it's good for something."

Duo sat down next to him, their knees brushing together, and Quatre shivered at the difference in temperature. His own skin had warmed after sitting in the sun and Duo's was chilled from the water. He also shivered for other reasons that he refused to address. Still, it didn't stop him from pressing his knee against Duo's while trying to pretend he wasn't.

"Don't sell yourself short, Quat," said Duo. "You're gorgeous. Like I said, you're a dick magnet."

 _But I only want to be a magnet to one dick...Okay, that didn't come out right._ He cleared his throat, uncomfortable. He didn't want to be a 'dick magnet'. He only wanted one person's dick...er, interest. He almost said as much and bit down on his tongue, hard, to stop the confession from bubbling between traitorous lips.

Instead of answering, he looked out over the horizon, watching the other surfers coast along the large swells. A pair of guys crossed his line of vision. Muscled types, physiques that showcased probably several hours a week lifting weights at the gym. Of course they were wearing short speedos, too, and of course they walked along the beach like they owned the place. His heart clenched as he chanced a glance at Duo and noticed his friend tracking their every move.

He realized with a sickening pang that Duo was just being nice. If Quatre was as 'gorgeous' as Duo claimed he was, he'd be looking at _him_ the way he looked at those guys. Quatre wasn't buff, wasn't tanned, wasn't a beach god. He didn't fill out his speedos like those guys. Didn't even _wear_ speedos for that reason. He just didn't measure up. He never would. And it hurt.

He brushed sand from his legs, feeling suddenly tired. So damn tired of being second best. "Are you done?"

"Mmm?"

"I said, are you done here, or do you want to hang out at the beach some more?" He hoped it was the former. Hoped maybe the two of them could go grab a pizza somewhere and just be together without the distraction of half-naked men strutting around like peacocks. He glanced up, waiting for the answer. Duo was still watching the two guys who were now eyeing him in return. "Duo."

"Wha'dya say, Quat?" He wasn't even paying attention to Quatre anymore. Quatre's eyes stung and he blinked treacherous tears away before they could even think about leaking from his ducts. He felt like a bumbling idiot, a tag-a-long, an inconvenience. The 'best friend' was only useful until something better came along. Which it had. He shook his head and looked down at his toes, digging them through the sand.

"Never mind."

"Okay, I'll be right back." Duo jumped up and ran off down the beach before Quatre could say anything. He watched as Duo approached the two guys and started chatting them up. They never once looked back at him the entire time. That was how it always was. Once Duo had found himself someone of interest, he forgot about Quatre. He rested his chin on his knees and gazed out towards the setting sun feeling painfully invisible. Even more so when the three of them walked off together to God knew where. He lost sight of them after a few minutes. 

He got up and went to the beach house to gather his things from his locker. It wouldn't be the first time Duo ditched him for a hot guy, or guys. He hooked his feet into his flip flops and slung his towel over his arm. When his phone beeped, he pulled it out of his pocket, already knowing who it was and what it was about. 

_Don't wait up. I'm going to be awhile. I'll see you in the morning._

He slammed the locker closed and headed to his car, biting his lips in futile rage. _I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry._

And he didn't. At least not until he got home and was in the privacy of his shower where the salt of his tears mingled with the salt of the ocean and swirled down the drain along with his heart. This was the only time he allowed himself to indulge in his sadness, his pain, where no one could see it. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, cursing those guys, cursing Duo, cursing himself most of all. For not being able to just get over it and move on. Move on and be happy.

He slipped on a pair of pajamas and crawled into bed, briefly entertaining the thought of reading, but he just wasn't feeling it. He considered jacking off. While Duo was off somewhere getting laid, Quatre was becoming well-acquainted with his right hand. He didn't really feel up to it, but he decided to go for it anyway. Maybe it would help him feel better, or at the very least, relax. He slipped his pajama pants past his hips and kicked them off towards the foot of his bed. He was still soft so he did what never failed to bring him to the aching point of deep arousal. He opened his legs, his fingers curling down over his groin, beneath the base of his sac, the tips just tickling the sensitive skin behind his balls. He sighed as the inevitable sparks of electricity brought his nerve endings to life and his cock began to fill with blood.

Beneath his closed eyes, he pictured Duo laying between his open thighs, face level at the apex of his legs. He pictured those deep blue eyes, bordering on purple, shimmering as he stared across the expanse of Quatre's body and into his own eyes, communicating all the things he wanted to do. He saw the telltale smirk, that jester's grin, curl up both sides of that beautiful mouth and he squeezed his eyes shut as his hand curled around his cock and slid up and down the hard flesh. 

It wasn't enough. Not tonight. Tonight, he needed something else. The one thing that truly plunged him into the depths of his most covetous desires. He lifted his feet off the bed and brought his knees to his chest, sticking the fingers of his left hand between his lips, coating them in saliva. He trailed them down, over his twitching abdomen, bypassing his groin, to the tiny opening nestled between his ass cheeks. He didn't stop to think about it. Didn't stop to remind himself of the loneliness that followed when he did this. He needed it too badly now to stop. To think of the consequences. 

He circled the puckered skin, wetting the ring with his spit, then pierced himself with the tips of his index and middle fingers. His right hand stilled on his cock as he sucked in a shaky breath, neck arching as he sunk his fingers deeper. He pushed them in until the knuckles of his hand pressed against the swell of his ass and he pulled his hips back to fuck up into his fist. In his mind, long hair swept along the length of his arms as his lover, his love, drove himself between his thighs. Jewels of amethyst sparkled down at him, brimming with the desire and love he so wished he could see in real life. 

His body rode the waves of pleasure, his mind, the waves of love, and together, ascended to the peak of intoxication, the rapture dismantling him and sweeping him away like petals carried along a gust of wind. Tears of exquisite delirium seeped past his clenched eyelids and rolled down his temples as he wept through his orgasm, his dream lover joining him in blissful euphoria. 

As always, once the mindless fever of ecstasy passed, he was left feeling worse than before he started. When his eyes opened and he realized the one he loved was not there to share the joy of lovemaking with him, that he'd only made love to his hands once again. The vulnerability and shame caressed his skin like the talons of invisible demons, mocking, contempuous, and he curled into a ball, drawing the covers up over himself, over his head until only his face was visible. The need for shelter overwhelming and he nuzzled into his pillow trying to soothe away the emptiness in his heart.

He finally had to admit to himself that maybe, just maybe, he should start resigning himself to a party of one. That this was as good as it was going to get and maybe he should start accepting that.

The words he couldn't say slurred out between lips lax with drowsiness as sleep took over his mind. Only fleeting images of long hair and beautiful eyes began to slip against each other in ways that increasingly became nonsensical as Duo smiled at him from a place where Quatre's love was returned. A place where Duo only had eyes for him. He would take it. Even if it was only in his dreams.

"Damn you. I love you, you stupid bastard..."

_Why can't I stop loving you?_


	2. Chapter 2

Duo yawned loudly, his jaw popping as he poured himself a cup of coffee in the Preventers' break room and blinked blearily at the wall. Damn, but last night was a long one. Long, but so amazingly hot. He'd gotten laid and then some. Those guys he'd picked up, Shane and Brad, a couple with an open relationship, looked like they'd be great in the sack and he wasn't wrong about that.

He'd been a delicious Duo sandwich, fucking one guy while getting fucked by the other. His body was a little stiff, pleasantly sore, and languid from the amazing sex and he hummed blissfully, immersed in memories that he would savor for a long time to come. He jolted with a yelp as a piping hot burning sensation on his hand snapped him out of his sensual reverie and he cursed, reaching for a wad of paper towel to clean up the spilled coffee. _Pay attention, Maxwell. Get your head out of the clouds, or boss lady is going to be pissed._

He mopped up the coffee off the laminate counter top, blushing and smiling at Wufei who raised an eyebrow at him.

"Good night, Maxwell?"

"Errr...yeah. You could say that." He dried off his hand and sniffed it, nose wrinkling at the coffee smell that clung to his skin. He turned to the sink to wash it properly. 

Wufei calmly sipped his green tea and turned the page of his book. "You'd better get your shit together. Une is not in the best of moods this morning."

Duo snorted. "Is she ever?" He leaned over to peek at what his coworker was reading. Wufei tsked and brought the book up to his chest.

"What'cha readin'? Something naughty?" Duo grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

 Wufei gazed at him with a droll expression. "You're such a pervert."

"Well?"

"If you simply _must_ know, it's a book called The Art of War."

Oh, yes. He'd heard of it. "So...it's Wufei porn."

Wufei sputtered. Feathers ruffled, the Chinese man turned up his nose and left the room. Duo smirked and stirred his coffee, nodding at Sally as she walked in, fixing him with a knowing look.

"What did you say to him?"

He shrugged. "I just said he was reading Wufei porn."

Sally glanced at him with exasperated affection. "The Art of War is a superb piece of literature. It's not porn."

"It is for Fei."

She shook her head and pulled her mug off the rack, nudging him out of the way so she could make her tea. "Would it kill you to not mess with him so much?"

"Yes."

"You're an ass."

"I know."

"Great job on finding that shipment that we lost, by the way. Fei was furious about it."

"I'll bet it chaps his ass that we ended up finding it."

"You know Wufei. He'll get over it. He knows the important thing is that it was found. Getting it off the streets is what matters."

"There will be plenty more where that came from."

"There always is. But, if there weren't, we'd be out of a job, I suppose."

"I'd gladly open up a surf shoppe and live happily ever after if crime was somehow miraculously obliterated."

Sally placed her mug of water into the microwave and closed the door, hesitating for a moment. "So, how was your night?" She asked with an ambiguous hint of expectancy that gave Duo pause. It almost felt like she was asking for reasons other than general cordiality.

"Great. Met a couple of guys. Sexy times ensued."

"What about Quatre?"

Confused, he asked, "What about him?"

She dipped her tea bag into the hot water, frown knitting her brows together. She looked up at him and he had the vague notion that he was being judged. Like he was a complete idiot. It was confirmed a moment later. "You're so dense."

"What?" Why did he feel like everyone knew something he didn't? He was lost. Quat never seemed to mind. He knew Duo liked to have fun and usually just headed home which was what he preferred doing anyway. Duo was pretty sure Quat would have said something if it bothered him. Then again...

She shot him a final, dubious look, like she knew was he was thinking and he blushed, though he wasn't sure why. She raised a brow, turned on her heel and left the room, leaving Duo standing there feeling like he was missing a part of the puzzle. He scratched his head, stumped. What was all that about? Maybe there was a full moon, or some weird virus going around that was making everybody act weird. He shrugged and sipped his coffee, drumming his fingers on the counter.

He did feel a little bad about leaving Quatre behind, but it wasn't like it hadn't happened before. He usually just went home when Duo found someone to screw around with. They would see each other at work the next day and Quatre would lecture him about going home with strangers and making sure Duo used condoms. 

He was such a mother hen. It was endearingly adorable. 

Still, he was worried about his friend. He seemed off lately. Distracted, almost down. Quatre wasn't one to share his burdens with the world. He preferred to bottle his problems up which wasn't healthy for anyone. Duo practically had to pull teeth to get him to talk about anything involving himself. He usually had to trick him into it, or use some sort of coercion, and then Quatre typically would work himself into snit about it for a few days before it was all smoothed over again.

He reached over to the plate of pastries that sat on the edge of the counter next to the coffee pot. That raspberry danish looked mighty tasty. He pulled at the cellophane wrapper and walked around the counter to throw it away. The lost and found bin stood directly in front of the waste basket and he just happened to glance down into it. Nestled in between pairless sneakers and old windbreakers, scarves, hats, and gloves, was another piece of red paper. A further look and he spotted two more. He picked one up and unfolded it. It was another red heart. He pulled all three out of the bin, but instead of throwing them away this time, he slipped them into his pocket. 

He didn't know what they meant, or who was leaving them in there, but it was a mystery he was intrigued by. Once could have been a mistake, twice, a coincidence. If it happened again, it could be considered deliberate.

He meandered over to his desk, munching on his danish, mumbling, "Hey, Quat," as he sat down in his chair. Quatre was quiet for a moment before his voice drifted over the partition. 

"Morning, Duo." He sounded tired. Duo popped his head over the wall.

"Rough night?"

Quatre closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "I just...didn't sleep well." He glanced up, his eyes slightly bloodshot. There was an edge to his voice that Duo had never heard before. "I hear _you_ had a good night."

Duo couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. "Chang was blabbing, was he?"

"He may have said something about braided idiots who can't keep their dick in their pants."

"Yeah, it was good, to say the least. Those two guys were hot, weren't they? A lot of fun, too. We went to that little Tiki bar at the other end of the beach for drinks and then we headed over to -"

"You know what, Duo? I'm really tired and I'm not in the mood to listen to all the sordid details of your conquests."

Duo was a little hurt by that, but he smiled to cover it up. This was new. Quat usually listened to him when he went on about his adventurous love life, albeit a little grudgingly at times. Duo paused, something he hadn't thought of before flickering on like a light bulb over his head. Was Quatre...was he _jealous?_

"Hey, Quat, you know you could have joined us, right?"

Quatre's face took on a strangely combative look. "Could I? Seems like you forgot all about me when you saw those guys. You didn't even look back. Like I wasn't even there anymore." He trailed off and turned back to his work, tension in every inch of his body language.

Realization dawned on Duo then. He _was_ jealous. How long had this been going on? "You know you're always welcome to join me, buddy. You know I've been trying to get you laid for months, years even."

"I don't just want to 'get laid', Duo. I just - never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing. Just forget about it." Quatre turned away, expression closed, indicating the conversation was over. Duo knew full well when Quatre shut down like this, he was done talking and no amount of finagling was going to get him to spill the beans. Quatre was moody the whole rest of the day, a real buzzkill. It seemed everyone was which confirmed Duo's suspicions that some weird PMS virus was going around. 

 

***

 

They went out into the field for another case and Quatre, who was usually chatty, was uncharacteristically quiet. The atmosphere was somber despite Duo trying to lighten it with his joking small talk. The air between them was oppressive, reticent, as they waited in the car for their suspect. Duo glanced over to see Quatre gazing out the passenger side window, seemingly far away. He pinched a stray lock of blond hair and tugged gently.

"Penny for your thoughts."

"Pennies are worth dick nowadays," Quatre muttered.

"Damn, Quat. You're having a day, aren't you?" It wasn't typically like him to talk like that. 

He sighed, rolling his head in Duo's direction, expression almost imploring. "Can we not talk about this?"

"I won't force you. You know I'm here if you need to talk about whatever's on your mind though, right? I'm always here for you. I hate seeing you hurt, especially when I don't know what the problem is." 

Quatre observed him in silence, his eyes tracing over Duo's features. He seemed to be considering and Duo thought he was actually on the brink of telling him what was wrong. His mouth opened, then closed again, and he turned away, rubbing his eyes in frustration. "It's nothing."

"Damn it, Quat! Why won't you talk to me?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"How do you know if you don't tell me?" Duo was hurt. What couldn't he possibly understand? He clamped down on his own frustration with some effort, a muscle in his jaw twitching. "Fine. You don't wanna tell me, don't tell me. I don't care."

Quatre's head thumped against the window and his eyes closed wearily. "Don't be like that."

Duo huffed. "I'm not doing anything you aren't. You started this with your morose attitude. You know, if I didn't know any - are you listening to me?" Now Quatre wasn't even acknowledging him. His attention was directed ahead of them, his hand wrapping around the door handle. Duo stopped ranting, his head swiveled around, following his partner's line of sight. Their suspect was across the street. "There he is."

Duo instantly went into agent mode. Their little tiff would have to wait. "Yep. Got 'em." He raised his walkie talkie up to his mouth. "In front of the bike shop. White cap, black jacket. You guys ready?"

Wufei's voice came through the speaker amidst the rustling sound of static. "Yeah, we see him. We're ready." 

They got out of the car and approached the suspect who glanced at them over his shoulder, taking notice of the advancing agents in front and behind him. He veered to the left and darted through a small gap between the shops.

"He's fleeing!" Quatre shouted. 

"I got him!" Duo and Wufei ran around the other side of the line of shops to intercept, leaping over trashcans and tearing through the alley. Duo climbed up onto the fire escape, spotted the suspect hiding behind a dumpster and hollered, " _Freeze!_ " The suspect tried to run again, but tripped over a few trash bins that were strewn around and Duo used the momentary advantage to jump down from the fire escape and onto his back, wrenching the suspect's arms behind him. "I said, 'freeze', dumb ass." Wufei helped get him into the cuffs as Quatre and Sally caught up.

Duo hauled him onto his feet and Quatre patted him down. "You got any needles, or anything sharp in your pockets?" 

"I got a big one in my pants, pretty boy. Why don't you stick your hand in there and find out." The suspect made kissy noises at him and Duo wrenched his chin to the side and glared into the man's eyes, lip curling up in a sneer. 

"Maybe you don't quite understand the predicament you're in. Let me enlighten you. You're in deep shit, pal. So I'd suggest you leave the smart ass comments to me because that's my job and I can guarantee you will not beat me at it."

"Kiss my ass, pig."

Duo chuckled. "You might want to evoke your Fifth Amendment rights before I do it for you. Have you ever been to a prison dentist?" The criminal's eyes widened. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Shaddup."

Sally stepped over and expertly maneuvered herself between Duo and the suspect. "Okay. Let's keep this from getting bloody. You're still on probation from last time." She shot Duo a stern look and he let go of the guy and held his hands up. 

"He's all yours."

Quatre offered him a small smile as Sally and Wufei led the suspect away. "You did good."

Duo grinned and stretched. "Yeah, I still got it."

That got a laugh out of Quatre and Duo felt better about their little spat in the car. Quatre never could hold a grudge. Everything was okay, at least for now. He'd work on him and hopefully get some more information out of him later. Quatre was as stubborn as they came, unfortunately, but Duo had ways of making him talk. He wasn't the Preventers' top interrogator for nothing.

They headed back to the office to write up their reports and Duo got a round of applause from the other agents, much to Wufei's chagrin. He rolled his eyes and left the room, muttering that he needed some tea and a lobotomy. Duo took the praise with about as much modesty and grace as he always did. He bowed dramatically. "Oh, thank you all. Please, please, no speeches. Oh, what the hell. You've twisted my arm. I would just like to say that there's no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in - in...there's an 'I' in...what's there an 'I' in?"

"Settle down, Maxwell," Une snapped, acting quickly to disperse the snickering crowd. She shooed them back to their own workstations and turned a glare on him."This is not an awards ceremony."

Duo pouted. "But my audience loves me."

Une was not impressed. She held out her hand, rubbing her thumb and fingers together. "Report."

Duo handed it over with a cheeky grin and she eyed him critically before pivoting on her heel and walking away. That was as close to approval as he was going to get.

He went to to break room for a coffee and to annoy Wufei which didn't take long. His coworker stormed out of the room five minutes later with cheeks as red Sally's lipstick. Sally glared at him and went after her temperamental partner, most likely to try to calm him down. Duo chuckled as he blew the steam away from his coffee and took a sip. 

"Too easy."

He didn't know what made him do it, but for some inexplicable reason, he peered down into the lost and found box, stunned when he saw that someone had evidently dumped a whole slew of red paper hearts into it. They lay scattered around the miscellaneous items, like they'd just been carelessly dropped there. He could count at least a dozen, just at a glance. Interest piqued even more, he set his coffee aside and reached in to pull them out. He was surprised find nearly three dozen hearts inside the bin and he gathered them into his hands and carried them over to his desk, dropping them into his drawer. He had no idea why he was keeping them and he idly wondered if Wufei was messing with him in some way.

He approached Quatre as he was gathering his things and offered him a proposition. He didn't fail to notice that the lackluster expression on his friend's face was back and he hoped he'd be able to cheer him up.

"Hey, how 'bout we go catch a movie? There's a new indie film showing at that obscure place you like." A film about two best friends who experienced the trials and tribulations of life, overcoming obstacles to come together as lovers. It was just the kind of sappy shit that Quatre's romantic heart went gaga over. He was sure the blond would jump at the opportunity.

He was surprised when Quatre looked down, picking at the zipper of his bag. "I don't know, Duo. I'm still pretty tired. I think I might just go home."

"Aw, c'mon, Quat. What good are you going to do yourself by sitting at home moping?" Quatre glanced up at him and Duo smiled and nodded, encouraged. "It'll be fun. We'll go grab a bite to eat and then go see the movie. It's supposed to be a real romantic type deal. I know you love that stuff." He winked and was vindicated when Quatre relented, his lips curling up slightly. 

"Oh, alright. Since you asked so nicely."

They drove their separate cars to Duo's favorite pizza place which was only a few blocks away from the theater. They made wonderful Chicago style pizzas there and Duo had gotten Quatre hooked on their BBQ chicken pizza with extra pineapple. They ordered a medium with a couple of sodas and sat at one of the wrought iron tables outside the pizzeria.

Quatre was moderately disgruntled by Duo's wandering eyes, tucking into his food even when Duo pointed out a few guys who were looking Quatre over.

"Ooh, he's cute. I think he likes you, Quat. Why aren't you looking?"

"Because I'm hanging out with you and it's rude to do that," he said, not bothering to hide his distaste. He dabbed his mouth with a paper napkin and glared up at Duo. 

Duo was a little floored at the hard edge in the usually gentle blue eyes and he felt a twinge of guilt. Was it rude? Isn't this what friends did? They weren't toge - Duo paused mid-thought, a revelation that he'd never considered before occurring to him and he kicked himself for not seeing it sooner. The jealousy, the moodiness, the fact that Quatre didn't seem interested in anyone Duo pointed out to him. Was all that because Quatre was interested in _him?_ And how had he never noticed before?

Quatre turned his attention back to his food and Duo stared at him in shock, his mouth hanging open. Quatre glanced back up and snapped, "What?"

"Er, nothing. Nothing."

"Why are you staring at me like you've never met me before?"

 _Because I haven't._ At least not this side of Quatre. He had no idea how he'd never seen it until now. Things, little things started to pop up in his mind that he'd never given credence to before, only furthered his theory. The little glances, something like longing in Quatre's eyes when he looked at Duo. The way he laughed at even Duo's dumbest jokes like they were the funniest he'd ever heard. The way his touch lingered when he handed Duo something. The way he'd press their sides together when they sat next to each other. The way he seemed to sigh in contentment and go soft whenever Duo showed him an inkling of affection.

It all added up into a sum of Quatre was in love with Duo. Probably had been for some time and he'd been too blind to see it. Too absorbed in his own little world to realize his best friend was mooning over him like a love-sick school girl. 

It dawned on him that he'd probably been putting Quatre through hell with his constant flirting and taking off with other guys. He suddenly felt like the dumbest, shittiest friend in the world. He looked down at his pizza, no longer hungry which was a first. His stomach churned with uneasiness, not at the concept that Quatre was in love with him, but from what his friend must have been going through. What he must have been feeling.

Quatre noticed his complete one eighty and raised a brow at him. "Something wrong?"

Duo shook himself, strangely self-conscious in a way he'd never felt before. He could feel the flush of heat in his cheeks and he coughed awkwardly and took a sip of his drink in a pathetic attempt to cover it up. "No. Nothing...no..."

Quatre wasn't buying it. "What is it?"

"It's nothing, okay?" Duo snapped before he could stop himself. He was feeling defensive and he wasn't sure why. He was confused, uncomfortable, ashamed, frustrated. He didn't know what he was feeling because it was tumbling around inside his head like a full load of laundry. Quatre's eyes, always so expressive, reflected his hurt and Duo felt even worse.

"Quat, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just..." He trailed off, not sure what he was trying to say. Shaking his head, he just decided to go with the truth. "I don't know what I'm feeling right now."

Quatre looked alarmed. "Did I do something wrong?" There was an edge of panic in his voice. "I know I've been off lately. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be. It's - I -"

"No, no. It's not you. It's me. I'm just...I'm just not feeling well all of a sudden." That much was true. He felt like he was going to puke, his head throbbing and swimming with emotions he couldn't decipher in the chaos of his mind. "I think I'm just going to head home and get some sleep." He stood from the table, nearly stumbling on his feet and Quatre shot up, instantly worried.

"Duo? Duo, you're scaring me. What's wrong? Please tell me." He walked around the table and grasped Duo's arm. The touch burned with accusation. _You fool! You blind fool, how could you not see?_ He wrenched it away, feeling terrible about the rejection that darkened Quatre's eyes, those pretty blue eyes. He didn't deserve this pain. And Duo had put it there. He tried to reassure him and ward him off at the same time. He needed space. And time. Time to think about things and figure out what he was feeling. 

"I'm sorry. I'm okay. You did nothing wrong, okay? I just need to be alone for a while. I will see you in the morning. I promise." 

His heart squeezed when Quatre's eyes misted over, blinking quickly in an attempt not to cry. He staggered away, leaving his best friend standing there, confused and afraid, but there was nothing he could do at the moment. He just needed to get away. Get away from it. From _him_. To sort out his tumultuous mind and figure out where he was going from here.

Through his tunnel vision, his car was like a beacon of salvation, surrounded by gloom. He wrenched the door open, slumping into the driver's seat and immediately rolling the windows down. It was stuffy, stifling, and he sucked in great gulps of cool air as the breeze wafted in. He slouched forward, suddenly feeling weak, heavy. He rested his head on the steering wheel, trying to calm his mind. _Deep breath, man. Slooooow down.._.

His brief conversation with Sally that morning came back to him and comprehension dropped onto him like a ton of bricks. The way she'd asked how his night was. The derisive, almost disdainful looks. _You're so dense_. She _knew._  With a sickening lurch of his stomach, he wondered who else had been privvy to this information. If Sally knew, Wufei definitely did. He choked out a bitter laugh. God, he'd never live this down. He wondered how many conversations they'd had about it. Talking about Quatre like he was some smitten love-sick puppy. Laughing at Duo's stupidity for not seeing what everyone else saw. He had the sinking feeling more people than he cared to name probably knew. Quatre had been obvious if that was the case and still, Duo was oblivious. He banged his head against the steering wheel, groaning in helpless frustration. 

Tears leaked, unbidden, from between his lashes and he pounded a shaky fist on the dashboard, furious with himself. Furious with Quatre for not saying anything. He felt like a fool. Like the biggest fool in the world. 

"Oh, Christ. Oh fuck, Quat, why didn't you _tell_ me?"

"Because I knew you didn't feel the same," the soft, familiar voice drifted in through his open window. He jumped, startled, and glanced up, his heart breaking at the blond's defeated expression. He sniffled, wiping his face on his sleeve. He was embarrassed, humiliated. It made him edgy, snappy, belligerent. 

He leveled a glare on his best friend, feeling terrible about it, but his emotions were spiraling out of his control. "You still should have told me."

Quatre threw up his hands. "How could I? You showed interest in everyone _but_ me! You're constantly trying to get into everyone else's pants and never in mine. I'm not stupid, Duo."

He snorted. "But apparently I am," he said grudgingly. He felt stupid. So fucking stupid. Like the stupidest man in the world.

Quatre looked at him helplessly, with a hint of guilt. "I didn't say that."

"You don't have to. It's true." He looked up, suddenly desperate to know. "Did you tell anyone else?"

Quatre shook his head. "No. No, I - I never said anything to anyone."

"So you were just obvious and everyone figured it out except me. Ergo, I'm a complete idiot."

"Duo..."

"No. No, it's...it's okay. I'll be fine. I'm just going to go hide under a rock for the next fifty years."

"Oh, come on, Duo! Nothing has to change, okay?"

"Of course it does! Everything has to change now. Do you think we can go back to where we were knowing what I know now?"

Quatre's eyes widened, his face paled, and Duo felt like shit for inciting fear, the soft hitch of breath. "You...don't want to be friends anymore?" He could barely get the words out, choking on them with a voice that wavered, was tiny with the prospect of losing him. His bottom lip quivered and Duo's trembled in response. He felt stripped bare, almost betrayed, and so damn raw. 

He answered as honestly as he could. "I don't know what I want right now." He forced himself to turn away and started up his car. 

"Duo, _please_..."

He shoved the gear in drive and pressed his foot on the gas, peeling away from the curb without another word. He didn't know where he was going, or what he was going to do. He just drove. Drove until he reached the water and could go no further. He got out and sat down on the hood, gazing out over the sea, his inner turmoil rolling within like the ocean at high tide. He felt gutted, exposed, and he flushed with mortification and rage. He punched the hood of his car and dropped his head to his chest, letting the tears fall. 

_What do I do now?_


	3. Chapter 3

Duo arrived at work the next morning, earlier than usual. He didn't sleep a wink all night, tossing and turning until the sheets were hopelessly twisted around limbs restless with anxiety. He couldn't stand it anymore. Couldn't just lay there while his jumped up body practically vibrated with jitters. He couldn't stop fidgeting no matter how hard he tried to relax. His stomach did wild somersaults, flipping to and fro, sour from lack of food.

He'd finally gone home well after dark once gazing at the stars could no longer keep his attention away from the situation with Quatre. He had deposited himself at the picture window, knees drawn up to his chest and a bottle of Jose Cuervo dangling from his fingers until two in the morning when he finally dragged his sorry ass to bed.

He was fatigued in ways he'd never been before, not even during the war, and he wasn't sure why. His legs shambled unsteadily across the floor with a drowsy heaviness, arms feeling like lead weights as he poured water into the reservoir of the coffee pot. He didn't even acknowledge Wufei sitting a few feet away, which was unusual considering Duo typically started his day with a, "How's it hangin,' Fei-Ray," followed by some light-hearted ribbing.

Wufei eyed him from the table, finger poised over a page in his book, noting the taxed way Maxwell moved, but said nothing. Winner had showed up early, too, looking much the same. He didn't greet Wufei with his usual cheerful exuberance. He simply nodded at him, not quite meeting his eyes and took his tea to his desk without a word. 

It seemed the two had a falling out of some sort and if Wufei, observant as he was, had to wager a guess, he'd say Maxwell found out about Winner's feelings for him. It seemed the news had not been taken well from the looks of it.

Duo felt Wufei's eyes boring into the side of his head like accusatory drills and he turned, shooting him a glare with bloodshot eyes. "Something I can help you with?"

Wufei was taken aback by the low, almost growling edge to his voice. He shook his head. "No. I was just noticing the difference in your demeanor this morning."

"Don't start with me, Chang. Not in the mood." He scooped coffee grounds into the filter and slammed it into the pot, flipping the switch harder than was necessary. 

"I can see that."

Duo said nothing, just stared at the coffee maker as it dripped into the decanter, his fingers drumming restlessly on the counter. 

Wufei cleared his throat. "Any particular reason you're here an hour early?"

"Any particular reason _you_ are?"

"I'm always here at this time."

Duo's face was incredulous. "Why?"

"It's quiet this time of day. It gives me a chance to catch up on work in peace."

"Reading The Art of War is work?"

Wufei narrowed his eyes. "I'm taking a tea break."

Duo grunted and swiped the pitcher before the coffee was finished brewing. The drips sizzled against the hot plate as he poured himself a mug and slipped it back in. He considered having a doughnut, but decided against it when his stomach protested the idea. He took his coffee over to the table and sat down across from Wufei, leaning his head on his arms and blowing out an exhausted sigh.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Duo's eyes blinked at him blearily over the top of his arm. "Did you seriously just ask me that?"

Wufei huffed and shrugged his shoulders. "Contrary to what you may believe, I'm actually a good listener. I also consider you my friend." He blushed at the confession and tried to hide it behind his mug.

That got a slight smile out of Duo. "Why, Chang. I'm flattered."

"Don't let it go to your head, Maxwell."

Duo sighed, voice muffled as he mumbled against his arm. "I'm pretty sure you already know and I'd appreciate you not giving me any shit about it."

"I don't make light of matters of the heart. You should know that much about me by now."

Duo extended his arms across the table. "I'm just - I don't know what to do. I found out last night that Quat -" He shook his head, thumping it against the table with a groan.

"That he's in love with you."

Duo lifted his head and eyed him critically. "How long have _you_ known?"

Wufei leaned back in his chair, pretending to think about it. "Oh, let's see...what day is it? I'd probably say close to a year -"

"A _year?!_ "

"Keep your voice down," Wufei snapped. "Winner is at his desk."

Duo visibly paled. Oh, shit. He was here, too? He didn't even notice his car in the parking lot.

"Yes, he's here early, too, genius. Guess he couldn't sleep either. What happened between you two anyway?"

Duo's head dropped back to the table, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I fucked up."

"How?"

"I finally realized Quat felt something more for me than friendship. Apparently a year, or more, after everyone else figured it out."

"And I'm guessing you didn't handle it well."

"Well, what was I supposed to do? How am I supposed to act, or feel about it?"

"You don't love him back?"

"I -" Duo hadn't really thought about it. He'd been so preoccupied with the humiliation that he hadn't known. Too busy feeling mortified, like a fool. "I - don't know..."

"Well, I'd suggest you figure it out and not leave him hanging. I get the sense that he believes your friendship is over. Not to mention the fact that you two still have to work together and you can't let this compromise your duties to Preventers."

He sighed. "I know. I don't know how I can face him now."

"You had no trouble before."

"That was before I knew!"

"What difference does it make?"

"It makes all the difference!" 

Wufei nearly laughed at Duo's affronted expression. "Why?"

Duo's mouth opened, then closed. He didn't know how to answer that. "Because..."

Wufei leaned forward, eyes steely. "Why?"

Duo sat back, momentarily speechless. Wufei nodded and stood up. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe it's because you feel the same way?" He turned to leave the room, leaving Duo stunned at the table. 

Did it occur...what? No, he - did he? He didn't know. He'd never been in love before. He stared at the wall, frozen with numb shock.

Was their friendship over? No, of course not. The mere thought left him with such a deep feeling of despondence and grief. Not having his Quat, his little buddy by his side was more depressing than he could ever imagine. Quat was his everything. His friend, his brother, his companion, his confidant. Not having him around would feel like losing a piece of his soul.

Had he thought about sleeping with him? Of course. Quat was beautiful. Not the type Duo usually went for, but he wasn't lying when he'd said he was a dick magnet. He'd seen the way other guys eyed the blond up. Watched them hit on him. Had often entertained fantasies of making love to him. Kissing those rosy, pouting lips. Stroking that smooth, milky skin. Listening to that musical voice cry out in ecstasy. Watching him come undone and being the one responsible.

Aside from random daydreams and late night guilty pleasures, he'd never seriously considered pursuing it. Mainly because he didn't think Quatre was attracted to him although now, he didn't know why he'd thought that. He also didn't want to jeopardize their close friendship. Things like sex and romance could complicate friendships in ways that were irreversible. The evidence had been in his reactions last night. To say things had become more complicated would be an understatement.

Was it something he was willing to risk? He wasn't sure. He was at a proverbial crossroad, any path he chose to take could make or break his relationship with Quat. They _could_ go back to the way things were and then he would spend the rest of his life wondering what they could have been. But then he'd have to live with himself knowing he hurt Quat with his sexual escapades. He could try a relationship with him, but what if it went sour? They could wind up hating each other. It had certainly happened to plenty of people before. 

Either road he could go down had the potential for being disastrous. But it could also lead to something more. A real relationship, more meaningful than anything else he'd ever experienced in his life. But was he ready for that? He'd been enjoying the single life. Enjoying playing the field and sampling the diverse selection of men out there. He would have to give that up if he initiated a relationship with Quatre. 

He had to decide what was more important: His intrepid sex life, or something much more absolute. A monogamous relationship which included sex. He propped his chin on his hand, and stared down at the table. He definitely loved Quat. Loved him more than he'd ever loved anyone else. He knew he couldn't live without him. He needed those sparkling blue eyes to light up his life. The sweet smiles that he would kill for. That laugh that never failed to make him grin, filling every nook and cranny of his body with warmth. He needed everything Quatre was willing to give him, which, he realized, was everything.

Quatre was everything. It had taken him until now to see it, but it was clear. It shone down on him like the rays of sunlight on a warm summer day, like a revelation from the Heavens. Like divine hands smacking him upside the head. The clarity was startling in hindsight.

"Oh, Jesus. I love him. I'm _in_ love with him."

He didn't have any set plans. He couldn't think that far ahead yet. He'd have to play it by ear. See where this took them and hope for the best. He had to try. Risks weren't something he usually worried about and he wasn't going to start now. He picked up his mug and took the now cold coffee to the microwave to reheat it, feeling a thousand times better. He was alert with insights that had been lurking in the back of his mind for a long time. They shoved their way into the forefront, fighting for supremacy and this time he paid attention to them. They could do this. They were an unstoppable team. There wasn't anything they couldn't accomplish when they set their minds to it. 

He glanced down into the lost and found bin as he pulled his coffee out of the microwave, heart skipping as a smattering of red covered the entire top of the bin, nearly drowning out everything else that was in it. He reached in to pick one up. It was the same red heart, but it was only a half. He picked up another one. Another half. The hearts were there, a good few dozen more than the ones left in there yesterday, but they were torn up. Split right down the middle and tossed carelessly into the box. 

The implication made Duo's chest clench painfully. Whoever had dropped these in here was suffering from a broken heart. The dots in his head connected with acute awareness, pieces of the puzzle clicking into place. It was Quatre. It _had_ to be. But why the hell was he dropping them in the lost and found?

Feeling sick, he abandoned the torn hearts, leaving them in the box this time as he rushed towards their cubicles. He found Quatre sitting at his desk, his back hunched over almost as if he was trying to curl in on himself. Duo felt crushed. He'd done this. He stepped up behind him, steeling himself, smothering his doubts. This was it. All or nothing. There was no going back.

"Quat?"

Quatre's back stiffened, his fingers pausing in his typing. His head turned a little and Duo studied his profile. His pretty face was turned down in sorrow. His button nose was tinged in red. He looked at the cute little ears that he'd often fantasized about biting in the midst of sex. The thick blond hair that he loved, curled in platinum wisps around those ears, that sweet face. How could he ignore what was between them for so long?

"What is it, Duo. I'm working." Quatre's voice was dull, lifeless, a little croaky and Duo swallowed around the lump in his throat.

"Can we talk?"

Quatre spun in his chair and Duo nearly gasped at how wretched he looked. His eyes were glassy, bloodshot, exhausted, and puffy. He'd obviously been up all night crying and Duo wanted to hit himself repeatedly over the head. He wanted to take Quatre into his arms and tell him everything would be okay.

"There's nothing to talk about," he said. "I get it. I'm sorry I never told you and I'm sorry I screwed everything up -"

"You didn't, though, Quat!"

"Didn't I?" He asked in that same dead monotone. "Could have fooled me." He turned back to his work and Duo could hear the clicking as he started typing again.

The rest of the Preventers started arriving now that it was close to normal time and Duo didn't really want an audience. He reluctantly went to his own cubicle, though he popped his head over the partition. "We're going to talk about this later."

Quatre said nothing. Just continued to type on his keyboard with the same cadaverous expression. Duo was itching to get him alone so they could resolve this. He was impatient, restless the entire morning and when they went out on assignment, he tried again.

It was a warm day. Warmer than average and he opened the car windows while they waited in awkward silence for their suspect to show up. He turned to Quatre who looked out his window, distant, much the way he had the day before. Duo cleared his throat, not sure where to start.

"Save it."

"Quat -"

"No. It's fine. I understand -"

"No, I don't think you do." Yesterday, Quatre had said he wouldn't understand, but he did. More than he thought he would. Now, it was Quatre who didn't understand. "You don't understand."

"What's there not to understand?" Quatre turned solemn eyes on him. "I've been making an absolute fool of myself mooning over you like a love-sick school girl. And everyone knows it. I know you don't feel the same way and I understand if you don't want to be friends anym -"

"No, see. That's where you're wrong, Quat. I _do_ want to be friends. I...want to be more than that -"

"No, you don't."

The frustration bubbled up, swift and powerful. "Damn it, Quat! Why aren't you listening to me?"

"I don't want you to tell me this because you feel sorry for me."

"It's not because I feel sorry for you!"

"Then why?"

"Because I -" Duo fumbled for the right words. "I finally realized that I don't just _want_ to be more than that. We already _are_ more than that. Don't you see? You're my whole life. You're not just my best friend, you're my - my everything! You mean more to me than anyone else ever has."

"When did all this happen? In between sleeping with all those guys?" Quatre's voice was hard, bitter. Duo's jaw clenched, ruffled as that comment struck a nerve.

"I didn't think you felt any attraction towards me -"

"How could you _not?_ Everyone else saw it. Why didn't you?"

"I don't know. Maybe I did, but - I chose to ignore it because I was afraid."

Quatre stared at him, eyes huge with incomprehension. "Afraid of _what?_ "

"Afraid of losing what we already had." Quatre scoffed. "No, hear me out. You know that stuff like this can complicate friendships. Even end them. I'm not going to deny that I've been attracted to you this whole time. I don't lie. Never have." Duo held up his hand when Quatre opened his mouth. "You know that's true. I chose to ignore it and that's all on me. I always just thought having you as a friend was better than nothing at all."

Quatre observed him quietly for a minute, then turned his head away. "I don't know, Duo."

"Why don't you trust me?"

"It just seems a little too convenient!"

"What's convenient about me realizing that I love you?!" He shouted before he could stop himself.

Quatre paused, his heading jerking back to face him. "What did you say?"

Well, shit. It was out. There was no turning back now. Duo sagged in relief, not only because he'd actually said it, but from the realization that it was actually true. "I love you, Quat. I always have. I think I always will."

Quatre was stunned, his mouth working to form words that wouldn't come out. Finally, he said, "Say that again."

"I love you."

He closed his eyes, a painful expression swept across his face. His voice was tiny, barely there. "Say it again."

Duo leaned forward and cupped that sweet face in his hands, his lips just barely brushing against Quatre's. He heard the soft intake of breath, whispered, "I love you, Quatre Raberba Winner. I love you, I love you, I love y -"

Quatre surged forward and connected their lips together. Duo groaned at how right it felt and he opened his mouth, dipping his tongue inside and tasting love and life and sweetness. The blond whimpered and kissed back with a voracity that left Duo shaky. They pulled away after a moment, relishing the soft sound of their lips smacking together and Quatre's lashes lifted as he gazed into Duo's eyes, misty, but elated and so full of adoration. Duo kicked himself again for not seeing it sooner. Or, maybe he had, but he'd been foolish enough to brush it off. To dismiss the all-encompassing love that Quatre had been wanting to give him for so long.

Quatre's eyes traveled over his face, his expression full of awe. His hand reached up to brush Duo's bangs off his forehead. "I love you, too. So damn much."

Duo smiled, brimming with emotions that left him dizzy, euphoric, so much that he feared he would burst at the seams. "Can we start over?"

Quatre grinned. "Yeah. Yeah, we can."

"Good. Tonight. You, me, dinner, and that movie you've been wanting to see?"

Quatre laughed and went in for another kiss. Duo indulged him, his hand wandering to the back of Quatre's head to grab a handful of those delicious curls. Quatre moaned in appreciation and Duo stored that little tidbit away for future use.

The walkie talkie on Duo's belt buzzed to life and the two jumped and pulled away from each other as Wufei's exasperated voice cut in through the static.

"You guys? _Hellooooo._ You paying attention? You'd damn well better be. Suspect at two o'clock. Green shirt, black pants."

Quatre laughed, blushing cutely. Duo's lip curled up in a smirk and he lifted the walkie talkie. "Yeah, we gotcha. On our way."

 

***

 

Duo was far more nervous than he'd ever been when he went home to change for his date with Quat. He stood in front of the mirror for nearly an hour checking one outfit combination after another and fussed with his hair until it cascaded over his shoulders and down his back in chestnut waves, highlighted in gold from spending hours in the sun. 

He was already thinking of the future, though he knew he shouldn't get ahead of himself. This was only just beginning and he didn't know if they could make it work. Still, he couldn't help it. He was giddy, flushed with new prospects, new opportunities. The freshness of beginning a new life, starting a new chapter with endless pages that they could write themselves. He _felt_ new, reborn. He was entertaining thoughts of a life with Quatre, of finally settling down with someone he loved. Finally, finding someone worthy of settling down with. It didn't frighten him nearly as much as he thought it would.

He'd been serious when he told Sally that he could live happily ever after owning a surf shoppe on the beach and he idly wondered if it was something he and Quat could do together. Retire from the Preventers and live out their lives on the ocean, sipping Mai Tai's as they sold and rented out surf boards, maybe even selling lessons. Duo was still determined to have Quat surfing by his side. He was going to teach him, or die trying. He smiled fondly as he remembered Quat wiping out, flipping over himself and disappearing beneath the waves, only to pop back up again, coughing through his laughter.

He pulled up in front of Quatre's apartment building to see him waiting for him on the brick ledge outside, swinging his legs over the blooming tufts of daylilies that were planted around the complex. He hopped down with a giant smile when Duo's car stopped in front of the steps and reached for the door handle.

"Wait!" Duo shouted, leaping out of the car and racing around to the other side. He stopped in front of Quatre, breath catching at the cool blue eyes, alight with contrary warmth, gazing at him with heady ardor and emphasized by the powder blue of his shirt. He smelled incredible, good enough to eat and Duo leaned in for a kiss as his hand fumbled for the door handle. Quatre's fingers ghosted over his chest and he sighed into the lip lock, dipping his tongue briefly into Duo's mouth before Duo pulled away to open the door with a grin. "Gotta do this right." He made a sweeping gesture with his hand and Quatre blushed as he climbed into the car.

"You don't need to open the door for me, you dork."

"Quiet. I'm being a gentleman."

Quatre snickered as he closed the door and walked around to slide into the driver's seat. "Okay, where to?"

"How about that little Middle Eastern place that we go have lunch at sometimes?"

"Sounds good."

The silence on the ride there was companionable. Quatre rested his hand on Duo's thigh and he couldn't prevent the jolt of arousal at the feel of the warm palm so close to his groin. He wondered if this date would end in sex. Strangely not surprised that even if it didn't, he wouldn't mind. Even if it didn't, there'd be plenty of time for that. 

During supper, Duo was charmed by Quatre's seemingly permanent grin. It hadn't left his face since he'd picked him up.

"Why are you so happy?" He joked.

Quatre laughed around his mouthful of food and took a sip of water to wash it down. "Why do you think? It's hard to believe that just this morning, I thought I'd blown our friendship." He shook his head and speared a piece of lamb, shaking his fork in Duo's face. "You surprised me."

"I hope it was in a good way."

"The best! I didn't expect this."

"Quat, you know...there's nothing you can do that could ever end our friendship. Even if it turned out that I didn't feel the same, which I do, so no worries, but...I would never drop you like that. I just had my own shit to go through, to think about and I needed time and space to do it."

Quatre looked relieved. "I'm glad to hear that." He looked up at Duo, a smidgen of concern in his eyes. "Are you sure you've had enough time? I mean, this is great and all, but I don't want you to think you have to rush into this, you know? I am fine with just being friends if that's -"

"Quat. Quat, stop." He reached across the table and took Quatre's hands in his own, looked into his eyes so he could see, would know he was serious. "This is what I want. Okay? I'm not feeling pushed, or pressured at all. I promise this is what I want."

Quatre smiled and squeezed his hands, bending down to kiss his knuckles. "You've made me so happy. I hope I can make you happy, too."

"You already do."

The movie was as sappy as Duo thought it would be, but he didn't mind when Quatre held his hand and rested his head on his shoulder. He pressed his face into the warm curls, inhaling the sweet scent of strawberries and his heart soared with sensations that made his head swim and his heart thump against his rib cage. This was it. This was what his life had been missing. He'd had fun with those other guys, but they weren't what he wanted in the long term. He couldn't imagine ever settling down with any of them because the one his heart wanted was right here, right now. 

The night did end in sex, despite Duo telling him they didn't have to, though his groin protested, dick pressing angrily against the zipper of his jeans. Quatre kissed him quiet and grasped the hem of Duo's shirt, pulling it over his head and bending down to take a nipple into his mouth. Duo hissed through his teeth, fingers curling into the hair at the back of Quatre's head, which earned him a lustful moan. 

They dropped to the bed, onto their sides, and engulfed each other's erections until they were both groaning, unleashing their orgasms between each other's lips. Duo tipped Quatre onto his back and wedged himself between the deliciously creamy thighs, his cock still throbbing for more. He rubbed their groins together and relished Quatre's cries of pleasure, savoring the sting of fingernails dragging up and down his back. They kissed until they could no longer breathe and kissed some more until their heads spun, drunk with exaltation. 

Duo hummed into the blond's mouth, his tongue sliding in, then out, mimicking the motion of fucking and Quatre immediately understood, nodding his head and squeezing Duo between his thighs, his fingers grasping and pulling at Duo's ass to grind their pelvises together. Duo sunk first his fingers, then his cock into him and they moaned, shouted, and wept at their first consummation, their first Communion. Duo dropped his head onto Quatre's shoulder, biting and licking at the soft skin, the pleasure multiplied when making love to someone he cared about, someone he loved. Quatre clutched his braid, holding onto it like a lifeline as he was driven to dizzying heights of euphoria.

Afterward, they lay together with their limbs tangled, savoring the closeness and the gentle sounds of slowing breath. Quatre's fingers stroked up and down his side and he gazed at Duo like he was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Duo was positive his own eyes reflected the same emotions. He cupped a soft cheek, caressing it with his thumb. Every caress, every smile stoked the fires of desire and devotion and he welcomed it all with open arms.

So _this_ was what it felt like to be in love.

 

***

 

He roused the next morning slowly, lazily, his hand sliding over to touch warm, milky skin. Instead of finding the body of his love, his hand encountered paper and his head rose up, frowning as he picked it up and brought it closer. 

_Sorry. I had some work to do at the office. I'll see you soon. I love you. ~ Quat_

He shrugged and stretched, emitting a loud groan as muscles that had gone unused for several hours thanked him. He had no idea what kind of work Quatre had to do, but figured he'd find out when he got there. He hopped into the shower, singing cheesy love songs off key and laughing at his own dorkiness. He threw on his uniform and headed to the office, a rather voracious spring in his step that he knew was obvious and didn't care one bit.

He was stunned when he approached his desk to discover it covered in red paper hearts. They were scattered all over his desk top, over his computer monitor, his keyboard, his inbox, his phone, even his chair. He was struck dumb and just stood there with his mouth hanging open. He glanced up at his coworkers who said nothing. Only showered him with smug, knowing grins.

"Good morning," said a soft voice behind him. He turned to see Quatre looking awkwardly at his feet as he shifted from one to the other, twiddling his fingers nervously.

"So it _was_ you."

Quatre smiled, seeming a little nervous. "Yeah, it was me. I wasn't sure if you noticed, but -"

Duo was still confused though. "I still don't understand. Why the lost and found?"

Quatre laughed a little and took a step forward. "It's very simple." He looped his arms around Duo's neck and gazed into his eyes. "First, my heart was lost. That's why those hearts were in the lost and found. I was...hoping you would find them. After last night, I realized my heart was finally found. There's only one person it's ever belonged to." He nodded his head towards Duo's desk and smiled at him.

It was so simple, yet so profound.

"Quat..." Duo was speechless. Hopelessly charmed that Quatre had spent God knew how many hours at home, cutting up those damn hearts just so he could take them to work and drop them into the lost and found in a strange, and sappily romantic attempt to let Duo know how he felt. It was just like him to do something like that and Duo tossed his head back, laughing at how quirky, creative, and precious his boyfriend was. Overwhelmed with affection, he pulled Quatre into his arms and gave him a toe-curling kiss.

Their attention was momentarily diverted by the chorus of "Awww's" and the round of applause from their coworkers who gathered around to watch the riveting conclusion of the soap opera they'd been watching unfold for over a year. Quatre laughed, hiding his blush in Duo's shoulder. Duo's own cheeks flushed with heat and he scowled playfully.

"Alright, you guys. Bugger off now."

"It's about damn time," grumbled Wufei as he passed them on his way to the break room. "I was getting sick of watching the two of you dance around each other. It was pathetic."

Quatre's shoulders shook in laughter and Duo chuckled as he rubbed the blond's back. "Thanks, Fei. That was sweet."

 

_End._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you liked this cheesy, corny little piece. It was fun to write and I'm glad I got it finished! Thanks for reading!


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